Pornography in the Church
To the Congregation of Living Faith in The Season of Lent 2023
PART 1 (released March 4)
Pornography is all around us. It has become an increasingly “normal” part of our cultural environment. It is alluring, accessible, affordable, and addictive. You don’t have to seek it out, it will seek you out. No wonder viewing pornography has become common even among followers of Jesus.
From a pastoral perspective, pornography is a complex topic to address. It’s awkward to talk about, it can be hard to understand, there are limited contexts in which it is appropriate to discuss it, and when it is discussed there are numerous ways in which things can quickly go sideways. Yet, there are certain moments that bring greater visibility and urgency to the topic at hand. And in those moments a pastoral response is acutely needed, even if it is an imperfect one.
It is with these things in mind that we, as a pastoral staff, wanted to share with the congregation of Living Faith our consensus and counsel as it relates to pornography in the Church. Our words will be as few as possible, stating the basics and eventually pointing you to more in-depth and comprehensive resources for your use. And in order to break this up into more digestible pieces, we’re going to share these things with you in a few parts to be released over the next few weeks.
To begin with, we’d like to offer an explanation of what constitutes pornography. Pornography is any visual or printed material containing the explicit display or description of sexual organs or sexual activity which is intended to stimulate erotic feelings and desires, rather than an aesthetic or emotional response. A key aspect to pornographic content is the intention with which it is created: that of capturing the attention of and generating lust within viewers and readers, whatever the purpose might be beyond those things (whether to sell itself as a product, or as enticement in selling a different product or service, generating likes, building a following, persuading a potential partner, etc.).
Pornography is not just something you find in a few isolated corners of our world. Instead, it’s mainstream and available in a wide variety of forms: on websites, in books and magazines, in movies and tv shows, through video chat and text messaging, on apps and video games, in music lyrics and in advertisements. Some pornographic content is exclusively so: the kind offered by so-called “adult” and “mature” websites, magazines, and movies. Yet, it’s a simple task to locate other media which includes lesser degrees of pornographic depictions and descriptions. Porn is everywhere, both manifest and latent.
Yet, the biblical witness is clear and consistent: sex and sexuality were created to be embraced and enjoyed within the covenant of marriage alone, as an expression of God’s loving faithfulness and as an environment for godly families to grow. Erotic love is God’s idea and we humans have a God-given ability to be aroused in sexual desire for a lover. But as sin-bent beings, we end up vandalizing God’s intentions for sexuality by seeking whatever erotic pleasures our minds imagine and our hearts crave. Therefore, as God goes about the work of redeeming us from our sin and evil, he calls us to be morally upright in our sexual behavior and appetites: faithful, pure, chaste, content, and self-controlled.
This is why Jesus teaches us that lusting after other people is not some innocent desire within us, but amounts to adultery within our hearts (Matt. 5:28). This is why Paul tells us that covetousness–-to desire something that belongs to another, especially out of sensual passion—is idolatry against God (Col 3:5), that the sexual immorality has no place in the kingdom of God (Eph. 5:5), and that sexual sin is sin against our own bodies as the temple of God’s Spirit (1 Cor. 6:18-20). This is why Peter exhorts us, saying: “Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” (1 Pet. 2:11). While our culture downplays pornography as an acceptable outlet for sexual urges and fantasies, the theological emphases, godly values, and ethical mandates of Scripture aren’t vague on the topic: participation (as consumer or producer) in pornography is both immoral and idolatrous.
Now, it needs to be said that while all pornography is sinful, not all pornography is equally sinful. Biblically-speaking, while all sin is an evil rebellion against God deserving his judgment, not all sin is equal in its seriousness. The seriousness of sin depends on the clarity of God’s command against it and the severity of the damage it causes. Because pornographic content is wide-ranging—from softcore to hardcore, from written narrative to still images to immersive videos, from natural sexual orientation to disordered forms of sexuality, from one partner to multiple partners, from anonymous viewings to interactive and personalized experiences, from sexual acts with adults to sexual acts with children—therefore the seriousness of one’s participation in pornography depends, in part, upon the seriousness of the pornography in question. This distinction does not condone our participation in any form of pornography, but it does help us to understand that there are varying degrees of severity. This will be important as we go further.
We’ll pause things here for now. Next week we’ll discuss why pornography is so tempting and why it is so damaging. The week after that we’ll bring it to a close by covering what it looks like to fight pornography well.
Because of God’s grace,
Peter+, Carl+, and Blake
PART 2 (released March 11)
Gender and sexuality are important dimensions of our human existence as created beings. God intentionally made us “male and female,” and human sexuality was a vital part of his plan to fill the earth. To embrace this reality is to recognize the ultimate goodness of God’s design. This is partly why it is also so shocking that we as creatures in rebellion against God get this so twisted and wrong. What God intended for good has become for us a pitfall of danger and evil. How did we get here?
C.S. Lewis has defined evil as “spoiled good.” Milk tastes good to us up to a certain point in time, and then it crosses the “use before” date when it begins to sour. The line between being still good and beginning to sour is quite fine, but we know when it is crossed. The good desires and activities of the pre-fallen state of humanity were “spoiled” after the first humans chose to rebel against God. Every dimension of human life was affected by this rebellion, including our sexual identity and activity. Our pure passions and desires were turned away from God’s intent for us and spoiled by being turned in upon ourselves for our own gratification.
Why is pornography so tempting?
Pornography taps into legitimate human needs and desires for companionship, nurture, beauty, and comfort. However, it uses illegitimate means to achieve what were intended as good ends. It perverts our passions and desires into destructive forces of evil both for ourselves and their objects. There is nothing strange or wrong with passions and desires, per se; the problem lies in their use and intent apart from God’s will and design.
Pornography uses visual images or written materials to incite passions and desires into actions that are immoral and ungodly. While it is not entirely a modern thing, the prevalence and pervasiveness of pornography’s production and presentation is. Our culture is over-sexualized, hyper-visual, consumeristic and technology-dependent. Our discontentment with what we have and our appetite for more means that visual temptations easily lead our hearts and minds to sensuality, and technology puts every desire within reach. We even carry devices capable of displaying pornography in our pockets and purses. Marketers know the power of these passions and desires. As Christians, we often forget those same powers can lead to “sin” and “death” (James 1:14-15), and we have developed a high tolerance for things that can and do cause us great harm.
As uniquely tempting as pornography can be in our day and age, Paul reminds us that “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man” (1 Cor. 10:13). Lust and the adulterous temptations of the flesh (which pornography incites) are not new to the human race. We are not alone in our temptations, which means neither should we feel that we have an excuse to give into temptation nor that others (even Jesus) cannot understand what we face.
Often what our souls are looking for when tempted by pornography is comfort. Comfort is a primal need, deeply rooted in our subconscious mind and felt deeply in our inner self. It is rooted in our nurture as infants by parents - something that is often broken and dissatisfied because of relational failures throughout our lives. In our fallen condition, our quest for comfort often leads us to use and abuse things that we hope will satisfy this need and desire. We are most susceptible to these temptations when we are under stress and seeking relief from the pain and discomfort of our lives. And, as it turns out, the use of pornography and accompanying self-gratification is quite an effective means of temporary relief and release. However, both the end (comfort in something apart from God) and means (the object of lust) are corrupted.
The need for comfort is not ignored in Scripture, and it is rooted in a relationship with God. In fact, God the Father is described as the “God of all comfort” (2 Cor. 1:3), and Jesus promised to send forth “another Comforter” upon his departure, indicating that the Holy Spirit would be a comforter in a similar way to how he was to his disciples (John 14:16). How this relates to pornography is that people, in quest of the comfort of companionship and nurture that God provides by his love and good gifts, often turn to illegitimate means to satisfy this deep longing. What they discover is hollow and vaporous, often perpetuating a cycle of lust and sin that is as destructive as it is dissatisfying. In their attempt to escape the hard and harsh realities of their lives, they enter a fantasy world where soul-damaging and relationship-destroying dangers lurk.
Why is pornography so damaging?
Some may consider pornography a harmless distraction; yet, they do not realize its corrupting influence and destructive capacities. Like rust on steel, its impact may not be obvious or sudden; but given enough time unattended, rust can corrode the infrastructure of an entire bridge or building. Augustine taught that sin is “the human being curved in on itself.” Rather than being filled with love for God and others, we become obsessed with ourselves, making ourselves gods and others the means of our own gratification. This understanding of sin makes good sense of pornography: we use others in illegitimate ways, turning in on ourselves both figuratively and literally in order to bring ourselves pleasure. This is an unmaking of our purpose as human beings and an inversion of our souls.
Not only does the use of pornography undermine our purpose, it does critical damage to one’s integrity, both as one perceives oneself or as others perceive him or her. Integrity means wholeness. An integer is a whole number. When humans compartmentalize certain areas of their lives and operate as if they were different “selves,” they lack integrity. This is how a person who is a spiritual leader can have a secret life that does not show up in his/her public image of serving God, teaching the Word, and/or leading others in worship. Yet, this double-mindedness is a barrier to the integration of one’s personal life and intimacy with God. James defines a person like this as “unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8) and, even worse, unable to “receive anything from the Lord” (1:7). While it is true that God accomplishes his will and work through the agency of his Word and Spirit, sometimes this occurs in spite of the “double-minded” human vessels that communicate his Word and serve his people.
Or, consider the actual physiology of our bodies. Medical studies have confirmed the harmful effects of pornography upon the neurological pathways of our brains. Pornography engages the brain’s pleasure center with a rush of dopamine, which means that prolonged and frequent use can easily turn an activity into a habit into an addiction as we are trained to seek the same dopaminergic reward again and again.
Beyond these personal effects, pornography does great damage to a person’s relationships. It is a block to intimacy even if it is a hidden sin, but all the more when it is made known. The duplicity of hidden sins can’t help but constrict the positive emotions and actions that enrich relationships. When sin is revealed, people who relied upon this person and entrusted themselves to his/her love, protection, and care feel violated, deceived, and duped. Trust is broken when the heart turns away from one’s commitment to moral purity and marital faithfulness. This is especially the case within the person’s marriage and family. Pornography has the power to bring marriages to an end, and families to ruin. It violates one’s spouse as well as one’s children, despising the covenant. While speaking about divorce, Malachi 2:13-16 reveals the relational consequences of marital unfaithfulness, both to one’s spouse and to God. He describes it as covering one’s own garments with “violence” and exhorts: “So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless” (16).
Pornography also does great harm to one’s Christian witness and the cause of Christ. Private sins typically do not stay private, and when they are revealed, the Christian community’s reaction ranges from shock to disillusionment. For those outside the church, their skepticism about the faith is confirmed, and they think they have grounds for their disbelief. Peter recognized this reality when he wrote, “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.” (1 Pet. 2:12)
Up to this point our focus has been on the damage done to the person viewing or reading pornographic material and, consequently, their loved ones. But those are not the only people upon whom pornography’s evil inflicts damage. In visual forms of pornography, those who are filmed or photographed are objectified: turned into objects for self-stimulation and self-gratification. Because human beings are not objects, this means they are made less than human (dehumanized) in the process. Sex is made for the bonds of love and covenant of marriage. But in pornography, those being depicted are “consumed” by others who neither know them nor love them. Even if they willingly submit themselves to this, whether for their own pleasure or for pay, they are despising the fact that they are image bearers of God and made with the same dignity and purpose that we are. In worse cases, many of those depicted are not willing participants, but are victims of sexual assault and violence, and even human trafficking. In instances like this, the evil of pornography quickly compounds far beyond what the viewer may even be aware of. Worst of all is pornography involving children. Children cannot consent or be willing participants, neither should they be exposed to sexual activity in the first place. Therefore, any pornography involving children is no less than sexual abuse/assault of a minor. That adults would exploit children for sexual pleasure is a gross perversion of the love and care which God commands us to give to “these little ones” (Matt. 18:5-6) and a grievous evil.
All in all, the pornographic marketplace is a systemic evil which derives pleasure from the degradation, immorality, idolatry, and victimization of others. Those involved in the production or distribution of pornography are servants of that system, and those who consume it are (at least to some degree) morally complicit. As such, the use of pornography (especially so for the Christian) brings with it serious psychological, social, familial, and spiritual consequences. Paul’s question to the Corinthians should ring in our ears: “What fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with [the Devil]?” (2 Cor. 6:14-15) And yet, for anyone bound by this sin, so to should we heed Paul’s words just a few verses before: “Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” (2 Cor. 6:2b)
In light of these things, next week we’ll share what it looks like to guard ourselves against pornography, and to pursue the better and higher way of Christ.
Because of God’s grace,
Peter+, Carl+, and Blake
PART 3 (released March 18)
Note: this is part 3 of a pastoral communication. If you missed part 1 or 2, all parts can be read at: livingfaithanglican.org/pornography-in-the-church.
When we embrace the Gospel of Jesus and enter his Church through Holy Baptism, we make vows. The liturgical dialogue goes like this:
“Do you renounce the Devil and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?”
“I renounce them.”
“Do you renounce the empty promises and deadly deceits of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?”
“I renounce them.”
“Do you renounce the sinful desires of the flesh that draw you from the love of God?”
“I renounce them.”
Pornography, of course, is not the only spiritual force of wickedness that rebels against God, nor the only empty promise and deadly deceit of this world which corrupts and destroys the creatures of God, nor the only sinful desire of the flesh that draws us from the love of God. But by now it should be clear that it is certainly one of them. If it is indeed all around us, and as tempting and damaging as we’ve described, what does it look like to renounce pornography in our lives?
At the beginning of Part 1 we said that we wanted to use this pastoral communication as a way to state the basics and frame the conversation going forward. There’s a lot more to be learned from comprehensive treatments of this subject, and there are better authors and sources to hear from than us. But, true to our original intent, in this final part we want to offer some broad counsel for how to pursue our baptismal life in Christ when it comes to pornography. First, practice confession and prayer. Second, pursue healing. And third, walk in the light.
When we surrender to the empty promises of pornography (as with any sin), the place to begin is with confession. On the 1st Sunday of Lent we heard about the practice of confession, in which we agree with God about what our sin is, we admit our guilt and accept responsibility, we share the same sorrow over sin that God has, and we appeal to God for his forgiveness. This can take place in our corporate worship, with a fellow believer, or in the Rite of Confession with a pastor. Ultimately, confession brings your sin out into the light so that God can do his redemptive work of grace. Without confession, you will not be free. Yet, wherever there is genuine confession to God with faith in Christ, there is genuine forgiveness.
As we move towards God in repentance, we not only need forgiveness, we also need the power to become whole and holy people. That power we need–just as it is with forgiveness–does not come from within us but from God alone. This Lent we’ve returned to our lenten theme verse time and time again: “For the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation for all people… (Titus 2:11-14). As the verse continues we’re told that God’s grace in Christ both “purifies” us as he is pure and “trains” us to be like him. These are Christ’s purposes in redeeming us, and whatever Christ purposes he also empowers. In many ways, prayer is our access to the power of God which Christ has given through the Holy Spirit who indwells us. In our daily need for wholeness and holiness, God intends us to ask him to supply what is lacking in us: “…Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” (Lk 11:9–10). This is what clergyman and author EM Bounds is getting at when writes: ““Little prayer little power, much prayer much power.”
The second part of renouncing pornography in our lives is a commitment to pursue healing in our heart, mind, and soul. The deeper our temptation to and engagement with pornography the deeper our need of healing. The Bible is clear that God wants us to be healed and that our wholeness and holiness comes through him: “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24). The ways in which God heals us are as manifold as the ways in which we are broken. For instance, some participate in pornography out of unbridled lust and a taste for sexual conquest, others do so in order to cope with anxiety, depression and loneliness, others do so because of sexual abuse and trauma which have brought them confusion and shame, and still others do so because of spiritual strongholds in their lives or generational sin within their family. Wherever we experience brokenness, pornography can be a temptation. And yet, God’s healing comes to us in exactly those places.
One of the ways we can experience God’s healing is by growing in our understanding: of how God designed humans to flourish, of how God made our bodies, of what sexual brokenness looks like, of how abuse affects us, and of how following Christ provides the only true fulfillment. There are several excellent books on matters such as these, including Making All Things New by David Powlison and Unwanted by Jay Stringer. These are great places to start, and there are also more books (and audiobooks) and articles available on godly sexuality, marriage and single celibacy, abuse, disordered sexuality, and virtues like love, contentment, and simplicity. All these play an important role in becoming what God desires us to be.
In addition to greater understanding, pursuing healing for many people will include receiving care from other believers, from clergy, and from trained specialists. One way in which this care is given is through intercessory prayer and anointing for healing. James exhorts us to “...Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (Jas 5:16) If we are going to be people healed from brokenness, we need to be people who are willing to be prayed for by other people who know our need. If you struggle to find freedom from pornography but are not being prayed for (for forgiveness, for power, and for healing), you are missing an essential part of God’s provision. There are people in our parish who are willing to intercede on your behalf and anoint you for healing, including our pastors. Another important means of care is counseling and/or therapy. Many people struggling with pornography would benefit tremendously from counseling and/or therapy. In fact, counseling/therapy is something most of us will need at some point in our lives. A counselor or therapist should be chosen depending upon your life circumstances and the kind of brokenness you are experiencing. If you need a recommendation, you can reach out to the pastoral staff.
For those who view pornography frequently or habitually, a third way to experience healing care is through an intensive detox program. A good example of this is Strive21. Some programs are for men, others for women. Regardless, these intensives can help break the cycle and provide space for learning and progress. For those who are addicted to pornography (remember, part of confession is calling sin what it is), what is needed is more than just a short-term program but an ongoing recovery group such as Celebrate Recovery. A recovery group provides instruction and regular support for overcoming addiction. In the end, whatever brokenness leads you to pornography and however deep that brokenness is, God has provided people and places which he can use to bring healing to your life. Often the question we have to answer is Jesus’ question to the paralytic in John 5: “Do you want to be healed?”
The last aspect of pursuing our baptismal life in Christ when it comes to pornography is the commitment to walk in the light. Paul writes to the Ephesians: “Therefore do not become partners with [doers of evil]; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” (5:7-11) Confession, prayer and healing are all a part of walking in the light. But what is often missed is a radical willingness to evaluate our way of life in order to remove darkness from it and replace it with light. Christian author and counselor Jay Adams talks about “dehabituation” and “rehabituation”. Dehabituation is removing a habit from our lives, while rehabituation is adding a new habit to our lives. Essentially, whenever we attempt to overcome a bad habit, we cannot just remove it and expect to find victory. Rather, we must intentionally define a plan of action which leaves no room for the old habit to return. To do so, it’s important for us to answer questions like “when am I the most tempted (times of stress, when alone or idle, etc.)?”, “what leads me into temptation?”, “where am I when I am tempted?”. Understanding our responses to these questions will help us identify some of the new habits we’ll need to introduce into our lives.
Furthermore, our plan to walk in the light should also address at least three components: accountability, access, and exposure. If we’re going to put off the old habit of pornography and put on new life-giving habits, we need support. This is where accountability comes in. When our sin is secret or when no one asks us how we are doing, we’re not walking in the light. And yet, trusted friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ, and our spiritual authorities are all there, in part, to help us be faithful to Jesus. Simply put: someone in your life needs to know about your areas of weakness and to ask you how you are doing on a regular basis. Accountability software can be a useful tool for engaging honestly in this kind of conversation. Apps like Covenant Eyes and Remojo bring visibility to your online activity by sharing that activity with an accountability partner you’ve chosen.
In addition to accountability, it’s critical to eliminate your access to pornography as much as possible. When we are tempted to indulge in sin, the easier it is to access the easier it will be for us to fall prey. Jesus says: “...If your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell.” (Mk 9:47) Jesus is not calling us literally to remove our eyes, but he is emphasizing how drastic measures are needed to resist sin. Most of our access to pornography comes through the technology we own and use. Thus, it’s important that we take measures (even drastic ones) to ensure that technological safeguards are in place on our phones, computers, tvs, networks, etc. For example, Screentime on iPhones can eliminate access to explicit content, and products like OpenDNS are helpful at securing your home network from pornography. For a more thorough explanation of available tools, read the article “The Porn-Free Family Plan” by Tim Challies. Another wonderful resource for how to think about technology in your home is The Techwise Family by Andy Crouch. For some people, these measures to eliminate access might not go far enough. We tend to think that we cannot live without the internet at home, or without a smartphone, or without a TV, but the truth is we might not be able to live with them. If any of these things cause us to sin, might it be better to tear them out?
The last component in our plan for walking in the light is related to access, but with a slightly different emphasis. Eliminating access helps us in times of temptation, but what leads us down the path of temptation to begin with? Many times what initiates our interest in pornographic content are the sexually-charged and lust-enticing things we allow ourselves to be exposed to in the course of a day, whether that’s the media we consume (the sites we visit, the movies and tv shows we watch, the music we listen to, etc.) or the places we go (the stores and shopping malls we shop at, the gym we work out at, etc.). These things have a real effect upon us, even if we don’t wish to admit it. Thus, we need more care in our choices in these matters. Yet, there are also plenty of moments when we are unable to control what we are exposed to. Therefore, the foremost way in which we guard our exposure is by guarding our minds. Paul exhorts us to “...take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Co 10:5) When we see and hear things that produce lustful thoughts within us, God’s grace can train us to surrender those thoughts to Jesus instead of surrendering ourselves to those thoughts. Each time we do so, we say “No” to darkness and “Yes” to the light of Christ.
In bringing things to a close, we acknowledge once again that pornography is all around us. Yet, Christ is all around us too. He is with us and for us and in us. He is pardoning, purifying, protecting, and providing. Beloved, this means that pornography need not get the victory in us nor in any person created in God’s image and offered redemption through the Gospel. With that we return to the baptismal liturgy with which we began. After all three renunciations are spoken by the person to be baptized, then comes this prayer: “Almighty God deliver you from the powers of darkness and evil, and lead you into the light and obedience of the kingdom of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.” May it be true in us.
Because of God’s grace,
Peter+, Carl+, and Blake